Peaking Out From Under A New Leaf

hey y'all!

So today has been... tuff... but I finally feel motivated to turn over a new leaf! Im putting myself first, making friends, not trying to find my next man, working on me. I've wanted and needed to do this for a while but I was too scared, I just wasn't motivated. Idk what happened this weekend, but I just realized that I was helping myself stay down. And that wasn't good for anyone, especially me. I was so down on myself for things that were out of my controle, I was just making everything worse.

I think it was going to church this sunday, and seeing the counselor on saturday. I realised how much I really enjoyed both & how much they both used to help me. I still dont know what took me so long to do it, but Im really glad I did. My new plan is to stay busy! When your busy you dont have time to be sad or depressed.

So now I'm going to have a weekly schedual for myself. Im working it out right now, but this is my idea:

Monday - night off, I need a day to go to sleep early

Tuesday - Mani, pedi, gotta get ready for thursday

Wednesday - Join a gym!

Thursday - CIA event! Click here for more info

Friday - YAM event (any catholics out there want to join, please email me!)

Saturday - drs appointment, GYM, and clean my room

Sunday - laundry, sleep in, church & LT

I figure if I do a schedule like this for myself every week Ill stay too busy to be down and sad and depressed :)

And I am working on being strong with the guys Im chatting with. Im not at the "I dont need a man" stage but I think I could get there, maybe. For right now, Im not txting them or calling them unless they contact me first. I dont feel/seem needy. They have my number, and they have cell phones. Why am I always the one who has to start up the conversation? Thats just not right!

And because Im spending less time worrying about guys & all that jazz, I can focus on being a better friend to my friends. Spend more time with them, be the friend Ive always wanted to be :)

So this is my new leaf, stay busy, and focus on the positive. Life will be way better that way.