So this summer I'm a brides maid in a wedding of a very dear friend of mine. I introduced her & her hubby to be when we we're all in college. Ashley (the bride) is getting married in the beautiful St. Marys GA
This is where she is having the ceremony!
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Its gonna be HOT! but so pretty!
So her groom to be, Skyler, is from a family of all boys so all his family is throwing Ashley's showers, then her cousin & her sister are also hosting one. She is having a total of 8 showers! Crazy! And they're all themed. Now don't you go thinking Ashley's greedy, quite the opposite. Shes quite and doesn't like all the attention (lord knows why we were roommates, but it worked out)
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| One of our dorm parties |
So back to the wedding. She's getting married the 2nd weekend in June so I'm headed to town Thursday-Sunday for the wedding festivities. Nikki is her best friend and her MOH but she isn't too into weddings. She was married a few years ago but got divorced and so now she thinks weddings are a waste of time. She doesn't even want to plan a bachalorette party, which I think is a cryin shame! I really wanted to throw a shower, but Ashley said 8 was plenty. I've offered to host a mini bachelorette party / lingerie shower with Nikki, but I got a depressing email today from her:
"Btw thx for reminding me I'm the moh. I'm just not into this at all. I think making such a big thing of a wedding and wedding party is a waste. I know that sounds awful, but I did all of it and it feels/felt like it was all for nothing. Anyways, I'm just trying to make it through this without pissing her off."
How sad is this? I want to just give her a swift kick in the pants and say "I know your marriage ended in divorce, but not everyones does and Ashley deserves to have the whole bridal experience.
So Im thinking of offering to plan and host the bachelorette party, nothing fancy, and just have Nikki co host it AKA put her name on the invite.
Im going to email a few people who are local to see if theres a space or restaurant we could have the shower at, give her the gifts and have little party favors. Heres what Im thinking:
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| Nice, simple & blue |
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| With a blue bath bomb inside for a favor Nothing super fancy or OOT, but still nice. Or should I just let the MOH handle this stuff, and possibly let Ashley go without? |
8 comments:
You are the sweetest friend! I definitely think every bride deserves to have a bachelorette/ lingerie shower. I had to plan my own and, though I felt a little guilty at the time, I'm so glad I did. I would recommend telling the MOH that you want to do it and ask her if she would mind. Tell her you'd be more than willing to do everything, all she has to do is show up. Hopefully she won't begrudge the bride such a special time if someone else is planning it!
NO!!! You should take it over and go all out! Don't let her silly old MOH bring her down with some whoa-is-me BS!
You should have a big blow out. Lingeria shower with naughty items, boy parts shaped straws, cakes, and candies, and fun gifts. You know she can make a wish list at Vicki's Secert for her guests to buy from.
There are so many fun things that you can do. I'm so jealous you're planning this. I need a soon-to-be married friend ASAP!
XOXO
I think you should go ahead, let the MOH of your plans (explaining that you understand her lack of enthusiasm and not wanting to head this stuff up and hope that she doesn't mind you doing this little part...and letting her know you will have her name on the invites just because), and then plan a fantastic, fun night for your girlfriends. You are a sweet heart for wanting to make sure your friend enjoys this special time!
Ok, PLEASE... I am/was the girl who also did not/does not like attention. Talk to the bride and find out what SHE wants! This is about her, so if she say, wants a get together with her ladies, but doesn't want anything too fussy or any kind of "themed" party (yet another), listen to her wishes!!! Don't make assumptions about what she will or won't want (not saying you are, just saying in general).
Second, don't be upset with the MOH, it does sound horrible, but technically speaking, they're there to support the bride - they are not legally required to host things; they just have to show up in the right dress and support the bride - the other stuff is just "bonus." And if there's no drama, that's an even better "bonus." But don't over step the MOH, either. Let her know you want to do something, but you want to talk to bride first. Ask if she wants to co-host (in any way), but let her know you don't mind doing it all, either. You can always just avoid putting a "Hosted by" line on the invite, anyways - again, it's about the bride, so who hosts won't matter, and when everyone's there, trust me, they'll all know anyways!
I know a lot of girls LOVE this kinda stuff, but I, personally, would've been pissed if I got the penis-shaped straws, cakes, candies, and other over-the-top stuff, and lingerie gifts, etc. etc. It's simply not my style - so as the bride, simply ASK what she wants, if anything... We just had dinner & drinks with all the ladies (wedding party, my mom, etc), then broke off and went to a bar and drank/danced. After that, we joined up with the boys at a place we always hung out and drank some more. Because we were moving, I wanted that one last night with EVERYONE.
And for a girl who doesn't like attention, whoa, 8 showers!!!! I was pissed (yes, actually pissed, but bit my lip) when KR's family threw me a "surprise" shower (even worse that it was to be a surprise..) It's not that I was ungrateful about it, but I had my personal reasons for not wanting one, and was upset that some people took it upon themselves to plan something without asking me or KR first.
Step in and take over, missy!! Seriously - if the MOH isn't going to step up to the plate and make the bride feel special - you should definitely go for it!
The bride will realize afterwards that it was you that did all the heavy lifting, even if she doesn't see it now. And trust me, she will really appreciate all the effort you put into it!
That is so sad the MOH is not wanting to let the bride have the full experience because he marraige didn't work out. I say go for it. Something small she will enjoy. We did my besties at a friends apartment and then went out. All I had to do was help with the food & buy drinks for myself and ones for the bestie.
Do it! You know my situation and I would NEVER let it get in the way of me planning an amazing time for my friend. She's being a completely selfish cow! You're a great friend to step up to the plate to try to ensure the bride has a memorable time!
I totally think you should take it over and plan it! It sounds like the moh isn't in it at all!
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