Mawwiage... aka marriage. I'm sure your wondering why a perpetually single girl is doing writing about a topic like marriage. what could she possibly know about marriage?
truth - nothing, I'm not married. & I wont be for a long time. But what I am an expert on is married couples from the view of a single girl.
Let's back up to middle school. Remember when you would sit around and talk about your wedding, but you still thought boys were yucky? Well my friends & I always said we would abandon our husbands for our girlfriends. Moving on to high school, we discovered boys but didn't date much so they were still these foreign creatures. And it was still girls before guys. Then college. Dating begins. And guys become the most important thing in your life. Dating them, flirting with them, all the fun stuff. At some point those boys became more important then friends until you got dumped, then it was girl power all the way.
Now begins life after college. I'm single. I love my friends. I love my friends who are single, who are dating and even the handful I have who are already married. I love hanging out with them in groups, one on one, two on one, whatever. I view my friend's man as part of my friends. I figure if its that serious they need to become part of the group.
I have a few friends who don't see life like that. They only want to spend time with their boyfriend, never their friends. We aren't even on the back burner, we dont exists when hes around. And I HATE that! It drives me up the wall! If hes such an amazing guy he should fit in with your friends and be part of the group. Now I'm not saying never have alone time, but don't cut yourself off from the world because of some guy! If he is going to be your husband isn't it important that your friends like him? I know whats a major factor when I'm seeing someone.
So fast forward a few years to the wedding. They get married, we all cry and hug and congratulate. Now he and she have become a them. They're married. Excellent. I have some amazing married friends (shout outs to y'all).
But recently I was informed that because I am a single female, I really cant be friends with married women. Not because she thinks I'm trying to hook her husband, but because we have different priorities.
This is CRAZY! CRAZY!
We all make life choices, you chose to get married at 23. I chose to not get married. I chose to live at home and work and plan for grad school and date and travel. I have one priority in life, and that's me. My friends & family are a close second. I understand that your husband is your main priority, and that's great, but someone please explain to me why that means we cant be friends?
I have a LOT of married friends. I even have friends who are married with kids. They have VERY different prioritries in life then I do and yet they still want to be friends with me. Maybe because Im on the outside looking in, maybe there isn't something I see. Maybe their was a vow that I missed at the wedding - "now that you are married you will abandon all single friends"
Many of my readers are young married women, do y'all have single friends? Do y'all find it difficult to have friendships with single people?
If there's something I'm missing, like a new rule or something, please let me know. I'll make a point to let all my married friends know that we cant be friends because I am choosing an "alternative lifestyle".
The Ivy Cafe Richmond
9 hours ago