Wednesday, December 15, 2010

God works in funny ways

As most of you know, since you read my blog every day, or at least when I post, things with me and JAB have been rocky here lately, to say the least. He's a wonderful guy, but we are so very very different and we want different things, value different things and are at different places in our lives. Its hard letting go of someone who was such a big part of my life for so long, but I am hoping we can be friends.

So a few days before thanksgiving I was talking to my mom about all my millions of failed relationships and I asked her what I should do, maybe join because of the guarantee or to find someone. Instead, in all her mommy wisdom she said "you should be single for a while".

Point blank, I am not good at being single. I am a very co dependent person, and I like being part of an us. Im not a huge fan of dating, I much prefer relationships. But for once in my life I decided I would follow my mother's advice and be single. So I decided to swear off dating for a month and a half, til Jan 1 and see how it was.

Now everyone knows being single during the holidays is very very hard, but I figured if I put it off, I wouldn't do it, so I put myself on a dating hiatus.

Sounds like a great plan right? Ya I thought so too.

I decided this time I would be serious about it, I would really focus on being single. I went and removed my profile from and disabled eharmony's emails, I look myself off and went private on OK cupid. The last site I went to was POF, Its by far my favorite dating site, its free, its easy, and there are lots of guys.

Now like every site, the recommend guys for me, but I always ignore them because they never meet my criteria. But that night, a picture caught my eye.

This is PB dressed like Santa

and this is what his profile read:

I am actually a pretty simple guy who wants what everyone else wants: a chance to be with someone they can't (or don't want to) live without. This is not to say I am looking to get married next week or anything, so don't be afraid! :)

So what is it that I want? Hmm... good question. Here is a good start:
- are sweet, kind, understanding, patient, and affectionate.
- like music, like being physically active, like receiving random texts to see how you are doing, like being shown attention without being over the top, and you like sports (at least a little).
- realize that not everything is based on looks, there is more to a person.
- don't use the term "down for whatever".
- can turn heads in a pair of jeans or in a little black dress.
- are confident.
- like spending time with the person you are with.
- are not judgmental about someone who doesn't have an executive level, 9-5 type job (because even though I have a good job, it's not a 9-5 thing).
- are not threatened by the fact that I have an opposite sex best friend and an opposite sex roommate.
- can adjust to ever-changing facial hair. :)
- can laugh at the world, and yourself, and can give it just as good as you take it.
- like the fact that some people have A LOT of layers to their personality.
- like to talk until two in the morning about nothing or because you can't sleep.
- think a hot dog and a beer at a ballgame is just as good as a five-star restaurant.
- like road trips.
- want to get to know me! (Probably the most important)

As for me, I:

- am all of the above, why would I expect anything I am not willing to give. Wait, minus the dress thing and maybe I might not like if you have facial hair like mine. The other stuff, completely there on that. :)
- prefer ACC football to SEC football (go Noles!)
- walk/run/go to the gym 4-5 times a week.
- love talking to interesting people who have an opinion and will fight for that opinion.
- will always be supportive and in your corner, even if I don't agree with what you are doing.
- will be there to pick you up and even carry you if the need arises.
- will cook for you on occasion. :)
- will sing for you (if you are really lucky).

I hope to hear from you soon. Take a chance, take a chance... (yes, Abba... don't judge me!)

 Now ladies, we all know the perfect man died a few 1000 years ago, on a cross, for our sins, so I know perfection is hard to find but a guy that has 90% of what I am looking for is someone to take note of, right?

But what about my dating hiatus? Well I figured I'd send him a quick message, just a quick HI and that would be it. Trust me, I was not expecting to hear anything back.

But the next day he emailed me...

To Be Continued....


*danielle said...

You should listen to your mommy's advice. I also don't like meeting guys online because of the ability for them to lie too easily. I think you recall this conversation from high school, haha. Anyways, they say it takes apx. half the time of the relationship you were in to get over it, so being single for a month and a half hardly covers that amount of time. For me, it wasn't just getting over the person (although that did take me a while, too) it was about learning NOT to be co-dependent. I still am, to a certain extent, but I learned that my friends in college could help me in ways that "the ex" could not or rather WOULD NOT. I had fun having somebody I was interested in, but I knew in my heart that I really wasn't ready for a serious relationship, and like you, I didn't do the "dating" thing. I like relationships, so I flirted, teased, and then he lost interest. I really didn't care. It was when I decided I didn't need a guy in my life at ALL that I met KR. It was when my cousin Carina realized that boys caused more trouble than good and she was HAPPY being single that she met her now hubby. John felt the same way. It was when Mike & Taryn realize they valued school too much to have a relationship and they were both ok with that... that they met each other. I'm not saying forget about this guy, but certainly waiting 2 weeks until January won't ruin your chance with him if it is in fact meant to be. Being single doesn't have to suck: think of all the freedom you have! Hehe.

Miss Southern Prep said...

I think that taking a dating break could be good! I've been taking a break from dating, and although I do wish I had someone, I'm kind of enjoying being single. Can't wait to hear what he emailed back!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I think taking your mom's advice in and being single for awhile could be something really good. Everyone should have a minute where they sit back and take things in. It always helps to clear the mind.

Ruth said...

I would listen to your mom

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