God works in funny ways part 2

so PB and I emailed back and forth for a week or so. Lots of flirting and connecting and weird questions. It made me smile and happy. I was so excited to sign on and see what he had written.

He seemed so nice and kind and like a real decent guy, but you really never know. It could be all bluffing, but something inside told me to keep messaging him.

After about 2 weeks he FINALLY asked for my cell # so we could txt and boy did we txt. 100 a day, just the 1st day. He was funny and smart and cute, oh boy was he cute! He sent me a few pictures, to my phone and he was just so handsome. I couldnt really believe it. The guys I seem to date are nice, and kind and decent looking, but nothing like this.

Now some of y'all know that I've only dated online. and now all of you know. I have never met a guy in person without connecting with him online first. The simple truth of the matter is guys dont like heavier girls. They may love my personality, but thats rarely enough. I learned that the hard way in highschool, when I was friends with many guys who loved me, like a sister and I was always dateless for dances.

It never bothered me much, in someways I prefered it, meeting online. I could see an overview of them as a person so I wasted less time on dates where it would never work out. Thats not saying I havnt been on a million first dates, and most didnt work out, but you get the idea.

Now of the, lets say 20 guys Ive dated since I was 19 (my first boyfriend), none of them have ever made me feel safe or secure enough in my relationship to delete or disable my dating profiles. Even when I was with chase for 3 years, I still had a profile active on some site.

That all changed one night, in dec, in atlanta, at a restaurant called Ippolitios. There I met a guy who really got me, he understood me like no one I had ever met before. He laughed at my jokes, as unfunny as they were, looked at me like I was more then just a silly girl, talked to me like I was an adult. He took my pokes and poked back but never hurt me.

As dinner turned into 3 hours, we discovered we were the last people in the restaurant. We stood outside in the cold but I couldn't take it anymore so I invited him into my car. Normally I would never do that, not on a  1st date, for 2 reasons, a) my car is a MESS and b) its not very safe. But my gut told me I could trust him. So there were were, in the parking lot of a little family restaurant just spilling our guts to each other. I told him things Id never told a therapist.

 The best part was, he understood. He knew what I had been through in my life, he himself had faught depression. He had been in an abusive relationship. It was just so safe, I wasnt being judged or laughed at or put down by someone who simply couldnt understand.

at that moment I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach. something I had never felt so quick. it rose up inside me and the happiness and comfort I felt, it almost over whelemed me. Maybe, just maybe, this man sitting here, in my messy car, at 2am, in a parking lot in rosewell, maybe he was him, my prince charming

 I dont know for sure, no one does, but I have a good feeling about PB

to be continued...