Thursday, July 2, 2009

when is my ship coming in?

so im sitting here, thinking about all the things I do. I work hard, Im a good friend, I always try and be nice, I volunteer & yet im still up happy.

I keep finding more and more of my friends are happily engaged or married or have found someone wonderful. Im not saying they arnt good people, because they are, but it makes me really sad.

i know life isnt fair - some people get everything easy others have to work hard. & i know ive had a pretty good life so far, but it just seems like the more good I do in the world, the less the world gives back to me.

maybe im just being stupid and selfish or asking too much, but I dont feel that way. I guess Im just sick and tired of always doing the right thing, working hard, being a good friend, trying to meet nice guys, being good to those I meet & yet I still get treated like a second rate citizen.

I had a theater class this semester and I did all the PR and the bookings for the shows. I did 2x as much work as the other kids in the class but because I had a small part (which they assigned me) I only got a C in the class. How is that right? because they are all friends and graded everyone very highly. but since I wasnt in their "click" I got the short end of the stick.

IM not asking for perfection, or a million new friends - but just to have someone who would help me move without having to be bribed - that would be nice.
I have to move apartments in aug (very hot in south GA) so Im going to have to ask my friends to help me. In order to get even 1 or 2 people to show, Ill have to buy pizza and beer and offer all kinds of incentives, but when they need help moving, im there early & get maybe a thank you. how is that right?

i still live by "treat others the way you want to be treated" and I dont think thats too much to ask.

what I am asking is when is my ship gonna come in? cause I feel like im sitting on shore, & i keep seeing ships but they belong to everyone else. I just would like some small good things to happen to me - just get that little extra boost to help me keep going.

right now tho - it just feels like ill be waiting forever


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